2008-08-21T00:07:22Z Information Resource Network bj@informationresourcenetwork.com Copyright 2008, Information Resource Network bj@informationresourcenetwork.com SPHPBLOG
"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?"]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080715-235646 2008-07-16T00:00:00Z 2008-07-16T00:00:00Z
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-221341 2008-06-26T00:00:00Z 2008-06-26T00:00:00Z
Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."

Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"

Blonde: "Yes."

Operator: "The power in the house in on?"

Blonde: "Of course."

Operator: "And the switch is on?"

Blonde: "Yes, yes."

Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"

Blonde: "No, it's working fine."

Operator: "Then what's the problem?"

Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves!"]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080523-185847 2008-05-24T00:00:00Z 2008-05-24T00:00:00Z
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad.

He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" The truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080511-164642 2008-05-11T00:00:00Z 2008-05-11T00:00:00Z
When the friend got there, the blonde was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow pasture.

The friend yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight.

He replied that he was trying to win a Noble Peace prize.

The friend said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?"

The blonde replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Noble Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080504-200447 2008-05-05T00:00:00Z 2008-05-05T00:00:00Z
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."

The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."

The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080424-184931 2008-04-25T00:00:00Z 2008-04-25T00:00:00Z
They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days."

Finally, the tenth and final blonde arrives with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets a picture in the middle and the table erupts.

Up jump the others and they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days."

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080419-211931 2008-04-20T00:00:00Z 2008-04-20T00:00:00Z
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"

"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080404-205014 2008-04-05T00:00:00Z 2008-04-05T00:00:00Z
"Sure," he said. "I always have job openings to paint the lines down the center of the roads. Would you be interested in painting stripes?"

The blonde agreed and began working immediately. The first day she painted five miles of stripes. The next day she painted three miles. But on the third day, she only painted one mile of stripes.

The supervisor took the blonde aside and asked her what was wrong. "You worked so hard and painted so fast the first couple of days. Why are you working so slowly now?"

The blonde replied, "Because the bucket keeps getting farther away."
]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080320-023225 2008-03-20T00:00:00Z 2008-03-20T00:00:00Z
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Two and one half hours later the police officer returned to the same area and the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol Building, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus and that was two and one half hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 37th bus just went by!"]]> http://blondjokes.informationresourcenetwork.com/index.php?entry=entry080313-025651 2008-03-13T00:00:00Z 2008-03-13T00:00:00Z